Swiss American psychiatrist Elisabeth Kubler Ross is famous for having written about the stages of grief. You may have learned about the five stages in school. But did you know that the Kubler-Ross model was developed from years of working with terminally ill patients – not the family members who were left behind?
According to the Kubler-Ross grief model, those who are facing their own death go through these five phases:
- denial
- anger
- bargaining
- depression
- acceptance
Mental health professionals have adapted and expanded the five stages of grief to help explain the grieving process of those who experience loss. While we will share these expanded stages with you, please understand that we are not trying to categorize your emotional pain. Instead, we share these stages so you can know how many people experience grief.
The stages will also help you understand that grief is more than intense sadness. There truly is a grief process, which means you will encounter many different emotions leading up to and following the loss of a loved one.
An Expansion of the Five Stages of Grief
The stage model implies that people go from one stage to another – the final being acceptance and hope. However, grief is rarely that formulaic. You may experience depression after having positive periods.
Here’s what many experience when they lose a loved one.
Shock and denial
During this first stage, people report having feelings of numbness and disbelief. This stage may be different if a long illness existed before the death.
Pain and guilt
Of course, most people experience a painful emotional reaction to loss. You may also feel guilty about making other people’s lives harder because of your feelings and needs.
Anger and bargaining
Feelings of anger are typical for a grieving person. You may lash out at God or a higher power. You may also have feelings of anger toward the person who died.
Depression
How do you tell the difference between clinical depression and the depression stage resulting from grieving a significant loss? Talk with a mental health professional. However, please note that you may go through periods of loneliness and isolation while you process the loss.
Upward turn
At some point, your overwhelming emotions may begin to settle. You may find yourself feeling more calm and relaxed. However, please note that some people suddenly feel guilt or anger during this healing process.
Reconstruction
After a significant loss, you may feel like you can regain control of your life and move forward. This is the reconstruction phase.
Acceptance and hope
Gradually, you may accept your new reality and look forward to the future – while still remembering your loved one.
Do You Need Help Understanding the Grieving Process?
Alabama Funeral Homes and Cremation Center staff has a lot of experience working with bereaved persons. We know you have many questions about funeral planning and cremation amid your grief. You can count on us for clear answers to your questions without pressuring you into buying products or services you don’t want or need. We can also direct you to healthcare professionals in your area if you need professional help following the loss of your loved one.
Contact Alabama Funeral Homes and Cremation Centers – any time, day or night. We are here for you.
Key Takeaways About Grief Stages
- Elisabeth Kubler Ross wrote about the five stages people often go through when facing a terminal illness.
- The Kubler-Ross study has also been used to describe the bereavement process.
- The original model was expanded into seven stages, with the first stage being shock and denial and the last stage being acceptance and hope.
- Seek professional help if you are concerned about clinical depression.
